Even though Dan and I have been talking about our future and about getting married for what feels like a really long time, when he asked me, it still came as a surprise.  Dan had suggested earlier on in the week that we go up to Strawberry Hill (a beautiful resort about 45 minutes away from Kingston, in the Blue Mountains) on Friday night because it would likely be the last night we’d have time to spend together before things got rolling towards the holidays and we headed home to Canada.  I really did want to go but I was feeling exhausted and didn’t want to spend a ton of money on a nice hotel room because I knew I’d just pass out the minute we got there.  So, I told him we should go another time… and unknowingly foiled his Plan A.  We decided that we’d go on a picnic to the beach at Lime Cay on Saturday (unbeknownst to me, this was Plan B).  As we were waking up that morning and starting to think about getting ready for the beach, we ended up having a really great conversation.  All of a sudden, Dan started laughing to himself.  He does this often, when he’s thinking about something funny that is totally off-topic.  So, as I would usually do in this situation, I asked him: “What the hell are you laughing at?”  Normally, he tells me exactly what’s making him laugh and we move on.  This time, when he answered, I knew something was up.  He said: “Oh, I’m just laughing at my own private joke.”  Suspecting that something was up but not knowing exactly what, I continued to press him to tell me about his “own private joke”.  Eventually he fessed up: “I’m laughing because I’m nervous because I’m going to ask you to marry me.”  He got up to go get the ring (he’d hidden it in the bottom of his soccer sock which was, apparently, the source of his amusement earlier) then got down on one knee and proposed, to which I said yes.  We spent much of the morning and afternoon on the phone to various relatives and friends back home.  The ring was a bit too big so we took it back to get it resized and actually ended up exchanging it because another one just looked a bit better on me because my hands are so small.  (Dan loves to tell everyone how I picked the more expensive ring right off the bat but in fact, the first one I selected got shot down because: "It looks too cheap"!)  It took me a while to come to a final decision because I really loved the one that Dan picked out (a white gold band with five diamonds) and also, I rarely wear jewelry and usually take pains not to wear anything expensive or flashy, not to mention that I have mixed feelings about wearing diamonds in general, so I really had no idea how to go about choosing a ring I'd be wearing for the rest of my life.  But in the end, the one we eventually decided on just seemed to suit me better.  I'm still quite nervous about wearing it because I feel like it's either going to fall off or I'm going to lose it but I'm sure I'll relax in time.

It was Dan’s company Christmas party that evening, which was both pleasant and isolating.  We went out to dinner with some friends and acquaintances beforehand and the food was wonderful.  We then went over the Digicel Christmas party and stuck around long enough to see a short concert and get our pictures taken.

Things are really are wonderful for us right now but I also find myself feeling a bit detached, at times.  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we’re away from home, from family and friends.  It’s not that our engagement feels unreal, it feels very real and very right… and things between Dan and I are different in many positive ways.  I think maybe this big event has made me feel more homesick because almost everyone that we want to share our news with and celebrate with is so far away; and each day as we talk about our engagement, wedding plans, our future… we’re reminded of the fact that we are far away from home.

As for the actual wedding plans, the main details are up in the air as of yet.  We’re not sure if we want to get married in Jamaica or in Canada; both have their pros and cons.  I do know that I’m going to keep my last name, we’re not going to get married in a church and under no circomstances, will I be wearing a tiara or a frou-frou princess dress.  We definitely want to have an outdoor ceremony; other than that, nothing is set in stone.  I suppose I should start thinking about things like a dress and stuff… I’ve just never really been interested or concerned about those kinds of girlie details and now, I still find that I’m not as interested as future brides are “supposed” to be about what I'm going to wear and things like that.  It's always seemed a bit trivial and now that I'm engaged, it seems all the more trivial.  Not unimportant - obviously I'd like to look and feel nice on my wedding day - it's not as important as other things, like spending time with family and friends, finding a way to make the ceremony our own, to reflect on and celebrate our relationship, the people we care about and our future together.  Anything other than that just feels beside the point at the moment, although I’m sure as things move forward that might change.  I do quite like my ring, though